Chant for the Departed

This came about a couple weeks ago when I did my first zoom Pilates class.  The gym shut down the middle of March 2020, along with everything else because of the coronavirus. So, I hadn’t done any pilates for two months.  We were all on the floor, a different way for me since I have always done pilates on a reformer.  Anyway, we were working away and I swung my left arm over my head.  This normally wouldn’t be a problem except I hadn’t done any exercise for two months.  I wrenched my left shoulder, went to the doctor and turns out I aggravated my bursa meaning I now have bursitis.

About a week after hurting my shoulder I was in my Power of 8 Intention Group and it was my turn for an intention.  I had them intend on my shoulder being healthy.  Afterwards one of the people mentioned feeling depression and grief.  I mentioned how I’d been working hard on strengthening my lungs (which in Chinese medicine is the seat of grief, depression and sadness) with qi gong practice because I need healthy lungs in case I get the covid virus.  One of the guys in the group said he would send me a recording of a chant for grief called Chant for the Departed.

Night before last I had the weirdest experience.  It wasn’t a dream, I was awake and saw this person, I think it was a female, she had a yellowish turban on and a yellowish dress and a pitch black face with no facial features.  Just a black, black face, no features and this yellowish turban.  I tried thinking of other things, happy things to get the image to go away but it didn’t work.  I thought of waking up Gary, which is something I do if I have a really scary dream, but this wasn’t a dream and I wasn’t really scared, just uncomfortable.  So I laid there with her in my mind.  Finally I fell asleep.  I told Gary about this peculiar event yesterday and that was it.

In the afternoon I was cleaning up emails, putting stuff in folders, deleting tons of junk and came across the Chant for the Departed so thought I’d listen to it before putting it in a folder.  As it played, this faceless lady appeared and hung out with me as I sobbed and sobbed.  I thought of Beverly and Carol, Mom and Dad and me all sitting in a circle with this faceless lady in the center and we cried for her, or I cried for me – who knows.  I can’t remember.  But I realized this faceless lady IS my grief and sadness and she told me it was/is time to deal with the grief.  She is the loss of my two sisters, my mother and even my father who I was never close to.

If I want to heal my lungs, to have strong, healthy, inflammation free lungs I need to address these emotions.  And I am dealing with them with my qigong practice, the intentions from my Power of 8 group and now this recording – Chant for the Departed.